That Time The Veetans Defeated The Tesskans Forever 08/15

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Transcript

  • That Time THE VEETANS Defeated the Tesskans FOREVER!
  • written by ryan north
  • illustrated by tony cliff
  • 8/15


  • Kari: I know that, as a people, we're not the best at war, but the implications are staggeromg! We could build an invisible, invulnerable fleet!
  • Nat: That was the first idea the military had.
    But then you've got a fleet that can't move anywhere.
  • [board reads Invisible Veetan fleet]
  • Kari: No problem! Tow them with regular ships! Heck, you extend the invisibility field around the tow ship and you've got a mobile attack platform!
  • Nat: That was their second idea.
  • [board reads Invisible Veetan fleet (improved)]
  • Nat: Only problem was, the scientists kept saying they didn't know that they could extend the field, aaaaaand this was the one unique ship that did it. No time to duplicate it. The scientists had a counter-proposal.
  • [board reads [V]eetan (war and) science authority's plan:
    1) Instead of going to war, let's just science the problem away!
    Requirements:
    - Tons of time!
    - Tons of money!
    - Tons of science
    ]
  • Science Veetan: We anticipate an almost two percent chance of duplicating the stealthship within the next fifty-five years!
  • Science Veetan: And that's when the general said he anticipates a 100% chance of us and the ship being conscripted for the war within the next three seconds.
  • Shouting Veetan: What are we supposed to do? Go invisible when the Tesskans appear and hope they don't wait around for us to come out?!
  • Science Veetan: I'll tell you what the general told me: "You're in charge of that ship: Our last, best hope for victory."
  • Science Veetan: Go save your people.


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