That Time The Veetans Defeated The Tesskans Forever 05/15

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Transcript

  • That Time THE VEETANS Defeated the Tesskans FOREVER!
  • written by ryan north
  • illustrated by tony cliff
  • 5/15


  • Kari: I don't see how a broken Drive ship could help us win a war.
  • Nat: Oh there wasn't a war yet! This is all before that. We were just trying to figure out how it worked! It was parked to a secret location for study.
  • [sign reads "So garbage junk trash"]
  • Nat: The scientists knew humans had been studying the Drive for centuries and hadn't made any progress, but come on. Those are humans. Their bodies are literally covered in hair...
  • [sign reads "Science Authority"]
  • Science Veetan: ... And it took them 2000 years to invent emoji. Emoji.
    I'm pretty sure we can do better.
  • [board reads "Drive reverse engineerin[g]
    Humans = big dummos.
    Veetans = Cool and good.
  • Nat: But after almost a year of frustrating, fruitless study, all the scientists could conclude was...
  • [board reads "Drive reverse engineerin[g]
    Humans = big dummos. Not so bad?
    Veetans = Cool and good.
  • Science Veetan: ...Drives: pretty friggin' hard, actually?
  • Science Veetan: All those in favour of changing the science authority's immediate goal from uncovering the secrets of the Drive to making delicious and more importantly achievable cakes instead raise your--
  • Shouting Veetan: The Tesskans! They destroyed Orto! And the politics authority has declared a state of war!
  • Science Veetan: You must've misunderstood. We're pacifists. We don't do war.
  • Shouting Veetan: We do now! And all ships are required in the war effort, including this one. We've got one week to get the Drive figured out and the ship spaceworthy!
  • [a "War and" banner is added to the "Science Authority" sign]
  • Science Veetan: Man, I knew I should've been suspicious when I saw the order for that giant banner.


  • Tales of the Drive
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Trivia

  • The Veetan in panel 3 has only partial knowledge about human history. It took us substantially more than 2000 years to invent emojis.
  • This is the first appearance of the nameless shouting and science Veetan.

References